Wilbers: Use natural stress points for emphasis

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Stress Points in Sentences

“Use sentence endings for closing emphasis”

“Beginnings count more than middles”

Also see exercise & eliminating wordiness.

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Use sentence endings for closing emphasis

By Stephen Wilbers

Author of 1,000 columns
published in the Minneapolis Star Tribune & elsewhere

Think of the last part of a sentence as a punch line to a joke: It counts more than the beginning and the middle. Your success – both as a writer and a comedian – depends on it.

Here’s how you can use that naturally occurring stress point to your advantage: Place important words at the endings of your sentences, where they will receive the most attention.

Compare “His co-workers appreciate the diplomacy he uses” with “His co-workers appreciate his diplomacy.” Compare “These problems are temporary in nature” with “These problems are temporary.”

It’s a simple concept: To use sentence structure to your advantage, place the words or phrases you want to emphasize immediately before the period. A date, a deadline, a dollar amount, a particular word or phrase–anything you place at the end of your sentence will receive particular emphasis.

The reason: The period–like the colon and the dash–creates a pause. And a pause creates emphasis.

Sometimes you take advantage of closing emphasis by rearranging your words. Compare “You need to write frequently to improve your writing” with “To improve your writing, you need to write frequently.”

At other times you can heighten closing emphasis by omitting needless words. Compare “Maybe it just sags in a downward motion” with “Maybe it just sags.” Compare “Does it stink like rotten meat would smell to you?” with the way the poet Langston Hughes actually wrote the line: “Does it stink like rotten meat?”

As you can see, wordiness interferes with emphasis. Anything that gets in the way works against emphasis, so make every word count.

For example, compare the cluttered and the uncluttered versions of this sentence (read it twice, first with the phrases in brackets and then without): “Because of the euphoria created by the booming economy [that currently exists], people who are well off tend to forget the problems of people who are less fortunate [than they are].”

Here’s a sentence for you to revise: “Loving you is easy ’cause you’re a beautiful person.” How does the uncluttered version go in the lyrics of the popular song? Where should the closing emphasis be?

In managing your sentence endings for emphasis, you can use something called an ellipsis to good effect. An ellipsis is the omission of a word or phrase that is suggested by the context and understood by the reader. An ellipsis tightens the rhythm of a sentence and heightens its closing emphasis.

Consider this passage: “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer [than the rest of us hear]. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away [it may be from him].” Which way do you think Henry David Thoreau actually wrote the passage in Walden?

An ellipsis brings a sentence to a neat, emphatic conclusion. Note its effect in this sentence: “Although top correspondents generally have a good understanding of international affairs, many local reporters do not [have this understanding.]”

Likewise, compare “A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other human creature” with the way Charles Dickens actually wrote the sentence in A Tale of Two Cities: “A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.”

Your turn. Use an ellipsis to compress the ending of this sentence: “I revised the first draft, but a friend revised the second draft.” (Hint: The second draft is expendable–at least in this exercise.)

Remember: For closing emphasis, rearrange and condense. Above all, be economical. Once you’ve made your point, stop.

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Beginnings count more than middles

by Stephen Wilbers

Author of 1,000 columns
published in the Minneapolis Star Tribune & elsewhere

Beginnings and endings count more than middles.

Consider this sentence: “I have never felt more frustrated.” The intensity of that statement can be heightened by moving one word to the beginning.

“Never have I felt more frustrated.”

If you move two words forward in the following sentence, you sharpen your tone: “You have asked me twice now to respond to your requests on short notice.”

Here there are two candidates for relocation, both of which convey annoyance: twice now and on short notice. The latter phrase, however, already occupies a position of natural stress at the end of the sentence, so try moving the other phrase forward.

“Twice now you have asked me to respond to your requests on short notice.”

Can you hear the difference?

The same words presented in a different order deliver the message with more emphasis. Like word choice, word placement is a powerful tool. Use it to your advantage.

Because sentence openings are an opportunity for natural emphasis, take care in how you word them. Launch your sentences economically. Don’t lead off with wordy expressions such as in the event that or in order to.

Compare “In the event that you miss your plane, take the train” with “If you miss your plane, take the train.”

Likewise, compare “In order to improve your writing, listen to the sound and rhythm of your words” with “To improve your writing, listen to the sound and rhythm of your words.”

To practice taking advantage of opening emphasis, eliminate wordiness and move the dramatic words and phrases forward in the following sentences:

1. Hugh, with his old gray eyes feverish, broke off a long twig from a chokecherry bush.

2. Hugh slowly slipped away into delirium. (Hint: Leave delirium in its position of closing emphasis.)

3. He was awakened by a cold touch.

4. There was something that had moved against his good side.

5. It was a rattler.

6. If he moved the least little bit, he’d have a batch of rattler poison in his blood, besides all the rot he already had in it.

7. He lifted the bad leg while grimacing and cursing.

8. He felt pain that filled him from tip to toe.

Here’s how Frederick Manfred wrote those sentences in Lord Grizzly:

1. Old gray eyes feverish, Hugh broke off a long twig from a chokecherry bush.

2. Slowly Hugh slipped away into delirium.

3. A cold touch woke him.

4. Something moved against his good side.

5. Rattler.

6. The least move and he’d have a batch of rattler poison in his blood, besides all the rot he already had in it.

7. Grimacing, cursing, he lifted the bad leg.

8. Pain filled him from tip to toe.

So use those stress points to heighten your emphasis. As the writer, your job is to decide where the emphasis goes, so put it where you want it.

Now repeat after me: “I will never forget this technique. Never will I forget this technique.”

Well done.

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