I was sitting in my favorite coffee
shop, Nirvana for English Majors. All around me people were clacking away
on keyboards, reciting poetry in mellifluous tones, and reading books like
Silas Marner and Moby Dick. Except for two patrons.
At first their voices were insistent but
controlled. Soon they became more strident.
"I am so tired of you changing every
word I write!" said one. "You criticize everything I do. If I write
affirmative, you change it to yes. If I write no, you
change it to negative. If I use a dash, you change it to a colon.
If I put a comma here, you move it there. Nothing satisfies you!"
"You won’t listen to me!" said the
other. "I feel as though I can’t make the simplest, most obvious
suggestion without your becoming indignant and defensive. If I revise a
sentence for clarity, you tell me I’ve made it worse. If I eliminate a
wordy expression, you tell me I’m nitpicking. If I delete a comma, you put
it back in. You take offense at everything I say!"
"Pardon me," I said, as one of them was
reaching for the other’s throat. "I couldn’t help but overhear your
conversation."
As they turned, I thought for a moment
they were going to pounce on me.
"Now, hold on," I said. "I think I can
help. What we need here is a little candor and self-awareness. You," I
said to the editor, "are fussy."
"That’s just what I’ve been saying,"
said the writer.
"And you," I said to the writer, "are
touchy."
"Precisely," said the editor.
"And that’s your job," I said. "That’s
the way it’s supposed to be."
They both seemed taken aback.
"Editors are supposed to be fussy," I
continued, "but not too fussy. Writers depend on editors to eliminate
things that might annoy or confuse the reader. Writers need editors who
know the rules of language well enough to catch embarrassing errors, but
who also are sufficiently conversant with current usage to avoid applying
those rules rigidly."
They appeared to be listening, so I went
on.
"Writers are supposed to be touchy," I
said, "but not too touchy. Editors expect writers to be passionate about
their subjects, to care deeply about language, and to be deliberate in
their word choice. Editors shouldn’t expect writers to accept every
revision without question, and writers shouldn’t take every suggestion as
a personal affront."
For a moment they sat without talking.
Then they looked at one another sheepishly.
"Well," said the editor, "I guess you do
have the more challenging job. Creating something from nothing is not
easy."
"And you," said the writer. "You’re
caught in the middle, trying to respect what I’ve done while making sure
it’s palatable to the reader."
"Excellent," I said. "Now I want you to
hug each other."
"Embrace would be the better word," said
the editor.
"There you go again!" said the writer.